Dual....:-)
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
