Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.

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  (843): Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT. http://tfl.nu/52hv
  Replies (39) Good night (5075) Bad night (603)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.

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  (250): Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward. http://tfl.nu/w09f
  Replies (36) Good night (784) Bad night (8502)
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  (909): View more from California

  I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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  (909): I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho. http://tfl.nu/pviw
  Replies (9) Good night (724) Bad night (4154)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

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  (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. http://tfl.nu/swmp
  Replies (18) Good night (9991) Bad night (934)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though

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  (817): Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though http://tfl.nu/u94q
  Replies (16) Good night (7206) Bad night (1137)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Except there is my pee all over the walls now

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  (413): Except there is my pee all over the walls now http://tfl.nu/crd6
  Replies (11) Good night (549) Bad night (1660)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just commented on the education level of his penis.

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  (734): I just commented on the education level of his penis. http://tfl.nu/tupj
  Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (692)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again

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  (773): Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again http://tfl.nu/5np3
  Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (378)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.

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  (484): OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT. http://tfl.nu/kkt0
  Replies (5) Good night (780) Bad night (982)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.

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  (512): She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on. http://tfl.nu/lja4
  Replies (17) Good night (752) Bad night (1263)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea

  (214): View more from Texas

  WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO

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  (214): Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea (214): WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO http://tfl.nu/eu05
  Replies (2) Good night (1724) Bad night (411)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...

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  (703): I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1... http://tfl.nu/7tjh
  Replies (2) Good night (1191) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"

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  (803): I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge" http://tfl.nu/k0vq
  Replies (4) Good night (1196) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.

  (806): View more from Texas

  That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.

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  (405): I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety. (806): That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you. http://tfl.nu/ztvc
  Replies (8) Good night (863) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.

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  (610): Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me. http://tfl.nu/e3p7
  Replies (2) Good night (263) Bad night (564)

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