Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did you fuck her?

  (212): View more from New York

  If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.

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  (703): Did you fuck her? (212): If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that. http://tfl.nu/y42g
  Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (3030)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes

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  (781): At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes http://tfl.nu/p42l
  Replies (10) Good night (3386) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases

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  (724): Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases http://tfl.nu/ns4i
  Replies (53) Good night (10208) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?

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  (336): She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous? http://tfl.nu/rvj0
  Replies (119) Good night (1008) Bad night (5312)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.

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  (775): This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life. (1-775): Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life. http://tfl.nu/spac
  Replies (3) Good night (910) Bad night (3037)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.

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  (573): My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly. http://tfl.nu/go2x
  Replies (7) Good night (7043) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...

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  (562): In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for... http://tfl.nu/hz7t
  Replies (23) Good night (6655) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.

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  (615): As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge. http://tfl.nu/pca6
  Replies (5) Good night (2394) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.

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  (215): Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver. http://tfl.nu/plce
  Replies (8) Good night (2173) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.

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  (905): Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants. http://tfl.nu/3ltp
  Replies (5) Good night (1923) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?

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  (320): It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college? http://tfl.nu/c66r
  Replies (8) Good night (1648) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.

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  (484): After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me. http://tfl.nu/p7tl
  Replies (6) Good night (776) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.

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  (484): Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that. http://tfl.nu/p43x
  Replies (6) Good night (591) Bad night (2097)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??

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  (212): Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night?? http://tfl.nu/hu0z
  Replies (2) Good night (1400) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.

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  (586): He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs. http://tfl.nu/txkv
  Replies (10) Good night (1487) Bad night (446)

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