You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert