Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
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Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.