just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...