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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm laying in your front yard are you home

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)

  (512): View more from Texas

  Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES

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• (916): View more from California

  So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  Oh and I'm kind of in the library.

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field

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• (469): View more from Texas

  His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops

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• (561): View more from Florida

  You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.

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