Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.

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  (310): I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them. http://tfl.nu/3swr
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (1063)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.

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  (910): ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality. http://tfl.nu/m81e
  Replies (5) Good night (1628) Bad night (3625)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight

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  (847): I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight http://tfl.nu/h3vp
  Replies (10) Good night (3983) Bad night (1066)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?

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  (607): Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved? http://tfl.nu/p303
  Replies (20) Good night (3892) Bad night (1074)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.

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  (973): we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle. http://tfl.nu/il9h
  Replies (33) Good night (8245) Bad night (1575)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.

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  (913): Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla. http://tfl.nu/bslp
  Replies (12) Good night (1687) Bad night (4519)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.

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  (614): you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink. http://tfl.nu/tx6g
  Replies (24) Good night (9544) Bad night (1247)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?

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  (225): So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand? http://tfl.nu/cltx
  Replies (4) Good night (1936) Bad night (1634)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.

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  (828): I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w8gt
  Replies (5) Good night (1803) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I have a surprise for you

  (1-254): View more from Texas

  Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!

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  (254): I have a surprise for you (1-254): Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy! http://tfl.nu/af5l
  Replies (5) Good night (2519) Bad night (690)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet

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  (518): Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet http://tfl.nu/g9l7
  Replies (4) Good night (946) Bad night (576)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet

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  (605): You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet http://tfl.nu/kwah
  Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.

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  (608): She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws. http://tfl.nu/2p61
  Replies (0) Good night (812) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him

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  (270): He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him http://tfl.nu/fwi5
  Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.

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  (403): painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both. http://tfl.nu/p28a
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (480)

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