i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
