You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can I color on your dick again?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
