Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.