Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish I only lived at night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
vagina is talking i cant
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?