Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
