Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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