Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
