thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize