Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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