the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
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Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.