just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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