I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize