Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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