you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
