"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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