I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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