Soap is not a condiment
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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