p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
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yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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