Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
