so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....