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I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
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