I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.