Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check