Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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