So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
