You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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