I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My Higher Power is John Stamos
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
