yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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