Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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