break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
