i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
