Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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