why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
