I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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