people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize