"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
