If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
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I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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