What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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