just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize