so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize