very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
