Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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