At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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