i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Come on in and take your pants off
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