So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize