This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize