I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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