No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm like, not good at living.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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