margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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