I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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