Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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