So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
